(In Loving Memory of Maggie, the Sagacious Woman Who Inspired It All)
The Prelude: A Love and a Loss That Changed Everything
On March 25, 2023, my wife, Maggie, flew to Victoria with the purest joy in her heart. It was her birthday, and she was excited to celebrate with two of our daughters and our grandsons. None of us could have foreseen the nightmare that would unfold. The next day, she landed in the emergency department at Victoria General Hospital, overwhelmed by excruciating stomach pain. By March 27, doctors had performed a radical surgery—removing more than half her liver, most of her intestines, a quarter of her stomach, and two massive tumours. It shattered our world when they gave her only 60 days to live.
Despite the grim prognosis, Maggie's unwavering spirit did not wane. She left the hospital for our youngest daughter's home on April 14, where she received 24/7 nursing care. Months later, on August 1, she was transferred to a long-term care facility near Victoria Hospice for better support. On December 23, she suffered severe internal bleeding, and by the next day, she was admitted to the hospice for end-of-life care. After a courageous nine-month battle, Maggie passed away on January 3, 2024.
In her final months, Maggie orchestrated her end-of-life arrangements with a fierce dedication to detail—insisting nothing left to tax, sell, or probate. She prepared everyone around her—children, grandchildren, siblings, friends, and me—for the inevitable. I thought I was mentally ready. Emotionally, I was anything but.
During that last three-month stretch, Maggie focused all her love on me. She knew I wouldn't be searching for, as she put it, a "replacement partner." Instead, she zeroed in on a mission: ensuring I wouldn't withdraw into the forest forever after she was gone. She made me promise to join at least one men's group in person during the coming year. It wasn't enough to agree to "look into it." In true Maggie fashion, she wanted a commitment. And so, I vowed to her I would attend—which catalyzed an extraordinary year of transformation.
The Launch Into 2024: Stepping Up and Diving In
If you know me, you know I go big, or I go home. One men's group became a robust schedule of challenges, training, and retreats that shook me to my core and rebuilt me from the inside out. Here's a glimpse of how Maggie's final wish propelled me into the most significant year of growth I've ever experienced:
Sacred Sons Immersion, Cochrane, AB (February) – My initial commitment, or so I thought. It became clear right away: I was just getting started.
Strenuous Life – 45-Day Challenge (March) – Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual tests that pushed me to every limit.
Man-Aligned Archetypes Program (March) – Deep dives into understanding the warrior, lover, magician, and king energies.
Sacred Sons – LT1 Training (March) – Learning to hold space and create powerful circles for men, complete with tools like the CHAOS agreements.
A New Home Base (May) – I left my condo to live in a travel trailer 15 minutes outside Elkford, nestled in the rugged beauty of the Rocky Mountain Forest. This included buying a 16-foot cargo trailer to store my belongings (aptly nicknamed my "portable closet").
Uncivilized Nation – 30-Day Training + Traver Boehm's Book (May) – A new perspective on meditation, masculinity, and "No More Mr. Nice Guy" concepts.
Sacred Sons EMX on Gambier Island (July) – Another in-person immersion that reinforced brotherhood and "connection."
Wyld 90-Day Challenge (July) – Qigong, breathwork, cold plunges, and a 21-day challenge that awakened my creativity and capacity for grief.
Beyond Domestication: The Seven Practices (August) – Rewilding body and spirit through food, water, air, sunlight, movement, mindfulness, and sleep.
Man-Aligned Ghost River Deep Dive (August) – Strengthened bonds with a new band of brothers, adding layers of emotional understanding.
Wyld Retreat – Rocky Mountains (September) – Hosted the first international Wyld Retreat on my own Rocky Mountain campsite, an awe-inspiring celebration of nature, movement, and spiritual growth.
Man-Aligned Emotions Program (October) – Further exploration of masculine emotional intelligence.
A Return to Elkford (October) – Temporarily living with friends, renovating a more winter-friendly fifth-wheel trailer, and laying the groundwork for a permanent campsite for future retreats.
MDI (Mentor, Discover, Inspire) (November onward) – Learning to wield the CPR (Context, Purpose, Results) tool and attending weekly meetings, receiving ongoing mentorship.
Lessons Learned: Finding My Tribe, Finding Myself
What's the single biggest takeaway from this whirlwind year? Every men's group brings its magic—unique tools, frameworks, and communities that spark growth in body, mind, heart, and spirit. Here are some of my highlights:
Sacred Sons: Their immersions and EMX events showed me I am never alone. Their brotherhood anchored me when the pain of Maggie's loss felt too big. The LT1 training taught me the art of running a circle—something I now see as essential in fostering genuine connection.
Strenuous Life: The weekly "Argon" challenges kept me busy in the best way possible, blending tasks that tested my willpower across all aspects of life. Strenuous Life is powered by "The Art of Manliness," whose articles and podcasts I now turn to whenever I wrestle with "manly" issues.
Man-Aligned: The archetypes (warrior, lover, magician, king) and emotions (fear, anger, sadness, joy) reshaped how I understand my internal world. The Ghost River Retreat was a critical turning point, deepening my connection with new brothers and energizing me to research more for the upcoming Beyond Brotherhood Blog series.
Uncivilized Nation: Traver Boehm's book "Man Uncivilized" helped me grasp their philosophy around stepping outside societal norms for men. I'm eagerly preparing for the "No More Mr. Nice Guy" program once I finish reading the core texts that define its transformative approach.
Beyond Domestication: Their dedication to rewilding the human spirit through primal practices resonated powerfully with my mountain lifestyle. They've given voice and structure to the natural ethos many men's groups hint at but don't fully articulate.
Wyld: My bond with founder Thomas Fairman took root before Maggie's diagnosis. Through her illness and into the months after she passed, he provided guidance for breathwork, physical health, and emotional release. A 90-day program introduced me to qigong, cold plunges, and a creative 21-day challenge that saw me learning to play a spirit flute and attempting poetry for the first time. The dream of a "Mountain Wilderness Retreat Centre" was born here, blossoming into a tangible plan called "Beyond Brotherhood."
MDI: The CPR (Context, Purpose, Results) framework is gold. It keeps "why" at the forefront of every endeavour, from writing and leading to building out the Beyond Brotherhood vision.
Beyond Brotherhood: From Dream to Reality
The clarity I found through these groups inspired me to formalize my calling. I purchased the "Beyond Brotherhood" domain and initiated legal steps to incorporate two not-for-profit organizations at both provincial and federal levels. The mission: create a Mountain Wilderness Retreat Centre for men—a space to support healing, self-discovery, and growth.
I applied to St. Stephen's College at the University of Alberta for a Graduate Studies in Spiritual Care program to ensure I can serve men from all walks of life. My BA in Sociology and Anthropology and MBA set a strong academic foundation, but this certification will open the doors of provincial hospitals, prisons, and treatment centers. I start my first course on January 9, 2025, determined to bring comprehensive, heart-centered care to every man who needs it.
The Grand Takeaway for All Men
Here's the truth: you get back from these groups what you put in. Show up half-heartedly, and you'll miss the transformation right there, ready to happen. Throw your whole self into the journey, and you'll uncover tools, brothers, and breakthroughs that will carry you through life's darkest storms. You remain the sovereign judge of how much or how little you invest. Still, every facilitator worth their salt will cheer for you regardless because this is how real, lasting growth happens—through connection, commitment, and courage.
Maggie's final wish was that I find community in my grief and my search for a renewed sense of purpose. Her wish ignited my determination to heal myself, discover my passion for serving others, and build a future honouring her memory. Through it all, I learned an incredible truth: When men support each other with open hearts and minds, there's no challenge too big, no dream too grand, and no grief too dark to overcome.
This was a year of challenge, discovery, growth, and kicking butt. Maggie's persistence, love, and vision lit the path. I miss her deeply, but her spirit lives on through this work.
Here's to 2025 and the next chapter of Beyond Brotherhood.
© Citation:
Pitcher, E. Mark. (2025, January 4). 2024: A Year of Challenge, Discovery, Growth, and Transformation. Beyond Brotherhood. https://www.beyondbrotherhood.ca/post/2024-a-year-of-challenge-discovery-growth-and-transformation.
Comments